Out with the Old, In with the New!

We're THRILLED to announce the launch of our new and improved website and blog, filled with new articles, interactive tools and resources to help you through every phase of divorce. Today is our last day of posts on this blog and for your convenience we've transfered all of our archived posts to our new digs so you can refer to them whenever you like. Please update your bookmarks and resubscribe to our RSS Feed after visiting http://themodernwomansdivorceguide.com/blog.

We hope you love our new site and blog as much as we do! We'll see you there!

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Get Motivated Monday

Over the last eight weeks we've made a lot of suggestions about things you could do each week to move your divorce forward. Today, we'd like to inspire you to review those things you started over that period of time and suggest you finish one or all of those tasks or projects this week.

If you started a personal property inventory but stopped on the den, visit the remaining rooms in your house. If you started filling out your Divorce Petition but stalled on the third entry, finish and file it. If you looked at the classifed housing ads one day then trashed the paper, pick up today's paper and start scouring again. Or, if you started on a different task, whatever you do this week, pick something up you already started in your divorce and finish it.

Accomplishing small steps is a great way to boost your sense of confidence and make you feel as though you're making progress.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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Weekly Divorce Tip #7

With summer upon us it's likely many of you will be facing child support and visitation issues. Some of your ex-husbands may threaten to take the kids out of town without telling you where they're going or when they're coming back. For others, your soon-to-be ex-husbands may be refusing to pay for half of summer camp or day care.

If your exes are making these threats or doing anything contrary to your custody orders or agreements, consider filing motions with your family courts. In motions you can ask judges to prohibit your husbands from carrying out their threats and order them to do that which is required of them. By going through your family court judges, you can put an end to your exes or soon to be exes harassment and have an enjoyable summer.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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It's Okay to Cry

Mental health professionals consider divorce to be one of the most traumatic life events a person experiences. Divorce is the death of a relationship that involves the loss of a loved one or the dream of a perfect life. It can also be the end of the world as you know it. Your entire life, which may have been centered on your relationship and family, may no longer have any certainty or direction. You may not know where you’ll be living, how you’ll support yourself or whether your children will cope well. Experiencing these things isn’t easy and it’s okay to cry.

Cry over what you’ve lost, your fears of the unknown or the indescribable pain you feel in your chest. Grieve and take time to heal but through it all, remember, as difficult as divorce is, you can get through it and it’s okay to shed a few tears along the way.

This article is not legal or medical advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce and your doctor if you have medical questions regarding your health.

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Get Motivated Monday

In the midst of divorce it's easy to get caught up in the uncertainties of the present and forget about the future. Today, take  time to think about the new life you'd like to create when your divorce is final. Ask youself "Where do I want to live? Do I want to stay in this house or apartment or do I want a fresh start?"

If you decide it's time to physically move on, spend part of this week browsing the classifieds and looking at homes or apartments you might call your own. If you'll be buying a new place, find a Realtor to help.

If you decide you don't want to move, focus on how you'll cleanse and refresh your home so it will become a reflection of who you are not, not who you were.

By exploring your options and giving some serious thought to how, where and when, you'll be better able to visualize and embrace what lies before you.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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Weekly Divorce Tip #6

Everyday women’s credit is ruined by their ex-husband’s failure to pay debts, as required by their divorce judgments or settlement agreements. Don’t let this happen to you. If you have any joint debts that your husband is ordered or agrees to pay during the divorce, have your husband pay or refinance the debt in his name alone, before the divorce decree is final. Additionally, ask the judge to order, or include terms and consequences in your agreement, that your husband must pay or refinance the debt within 30 to 60 days or an alternative course of action, such as selling the house and paying the debt, shall be taken. If you do these things before your divorce is final and realize your husband can’t pay or refinance the debt, you can return to court for further assistance and hopefully, avoid any negative effects on your credit.    

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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Divorce Book Review

Surviving Divorce (52 Brilliant Ideas): Your Roadmap Through the Emotional and Financial Maze (52 BRILLIANT IDEAS) by Victoria Perrett takes a unique approach to providing helpful information to people in divorce. It is organized into 52 short, illustrated chapters that cover everything from making the initial decision to moving on after the decree is final. Brief question and answer snippets are provided at the end of each section and they touch upon a variety of legal, financial and emotional issues. Relevant quotes and ideas fill the margins of this book and suggest activities, tasks or ideas you might consider before, during and after divorce.

Victoria Perrett, a "trained psychotherapist", discusses the "feelings" side of divorce like your girlfriend or mother might. Her writing style is somewhat lighthearted and easily relatable. She briefly addresses the general stages and multitude of issues you might face in divorce however; by no means is this a technical divorce manual. It does not set forth specific legal divorce procedures nor does it discuss state specific divorce laws. Thus, if you are looking for an easy read that quickly and generally gives you an idea of what to expect and how to handle various aspects of divorce, this book may be what you're looking for. Surviving Divorce (52 Brilliant Ideas): Your Roadmap Through the Emotional and Financial Maze (52 BRILLIANT IDEAS) can be read and re-read numerous times during divorce but it shouldn't be the only text you read or rely upon. Make sure it is only a supplement to the other much more in depth, state specific divorce books you read.

Have you already read this book? If so, share your thoughts and reviews with us. We'd love to know what you think.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce. The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide has no relationship with the author or divorce book listed above and does not endorse either. We provide this reference and link for your information only.

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Get Motivated Monday

It's time to set your divorce goals and take action. Today, we'd like to suggest your goals include asking for help.

If you're in an abusive relationship, call the National Domestic Violence 24 hour hotline: 800–799–SAFE (7233) and ask for help.

If you have legal questions, call a family lawyer or legal hotline and ask for answers.

If you're emotionally drained and confused, call a counselor or therapist.

If you're lonely or need moral support, spend time with trusted family or friends.

You don't have to do it alone. There are many people available to answer your questions and lend a shoulder to lean on. Reach out and accept that which is offered. It can make the entire process a little easier.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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Weekly Divorce Tip #5

If you think dealing with divorce is boring and you're letting your husband or lawyer handle it without you, DON’T! Decisions made in divorce will affect the rest of your life and you can’t afford to sleep through it. Shake yourself, splash water on your face, do some jumping jacks, then dive into your divorce. Figure out what needs to be done, which decisions need to be made and start working.

This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.

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I'm Suddenly Single...Now What?

If after years of marriage you're now lonely most evenings and weekends, don't despair. The truth of the matter is there are millions of singles just like you across the United States and they're getting together for fun. They're joining social clubs, taking extended education classes and traveling the world together. They're living, laughing and loving their lives and so can you. All you have to do is take those first steps to find people and activities you enjoy and of course, we're here to help.

Here is a list of resources across the U.S. that can put you in touch with your city's social scene and networks. Take a look-see and start planning for a great next weekend. If nothing here tickles your fancy, check with your local museums, community colleges, universities, book stores or libraries for evening and weekend activities of interest.

Meetup.com "helps people find others who share their interest or cause, and form lasting, influential, local community groups that regularly meet face-to-face." You can search their website by interest and location to find fun, passion or political activities.
 
Social Diva™ "is a company designed to help fellow Divas discover the best New York, Miami and Atlanta have to offer. In addition to taking the guess work out of finding the most fabulous things to do...Social Diva™ also hosts events to help keep the New York, Miami and Atlanta social scenes something worth talking about." Sign up to receive emails for your city to keep your finger on the social pulse.

Let's Meet Out.com "is a group dating meets real life social networking site in New York City. Through LetsMeetOut.com you and your friends can meet other groups of friends for fun, flirting or friendship in a safe, low-key way."

DailyCandy, "a free daily e-mail newsletter and website, is the ultimate insider’s guide to what’s hot, new, and undiscovered" everywhere!

This article is not legal or medical advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce and your doctor if you have medical questions regarding your health.

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